And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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