On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
