Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
