twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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