I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
