I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize