You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
