is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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