i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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