I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
