At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize