Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
