Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
