My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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