and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
