Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
