OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
