i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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