We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
