Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize