there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
