He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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