That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
