Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
