He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
