I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
