Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize