You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
