This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize