you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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