why didn't you poke me back
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
