So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
