At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
