i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But theres a keg here and me gusta
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
