We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
smell my finger.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
