It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
