it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
