I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and she was petting her beer can
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
