Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
