She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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