i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
