I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
