I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
