Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
