Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
