hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
