She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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