i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
