Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
