I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
