walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is it because I queefed?
you didnt know i had herpes?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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