Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
