recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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