I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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