I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
