Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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