...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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