And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
