one two three fourrrrnication!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
