Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
