i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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